the insanity continues: jim barfield and the copper scroll project get another jpost article

Jim Barfield, leader of the 'Copper Scroll Project,' testing a metal detector in preparation for his search for the treasures of the Copper Scroll.

the insanity continues.

apparently, the copper scroll project is listening to the criticisms made on this blog here and here and here and on the bible and interpretation site here and here and on jim west’s blog here and here and here and here and on dr. jim linville’s blog here and eric cline’s comment on the asor blog and on todd bolen’s blog here and on steven smuts’ blog here and here and on richard bartholomew’s blog here and here and here and here and on….. well, you get the picture.

jimmy barfield is listening, and is now attempting to refute the scholars that are beginning to question openly his copper scroll project and their findings (including their claim that the copper scroll was written during the time of jeremiah, and that all of the treasure is buried beneath ‘the pyramid with the top cut off’ (i.e., the tower), and that the copper scroll was the only dead sea scroll to be discovered in a ‘legitimate’ excavation by archaeologists). in the past few weeks, we’ve had some gems, such as what barfield stated in the ‘setting the record straight’ section of his august 2009 update:

b. With all respect to those with the stacks of letters behind their names displaying their degrees, we lowly firefighters have learned to work and play well with others. We on the project have, and will, always try to remain respectful of others no matter what their level of education. The objective is to learn from each otherr [sic]- not attempt to humiliate or discredit those that are progressing. That simple trait may have been a key factor in the success that the Copper Scroll Project has enjoyed to this point.

mr. barfield, i’m not trying to embarrass you. that is your own doing. i am simply trying to show readers why the iaa doesn’t call you anymore, why no scholar accepts a single thing you are saying, and why your circular reasoning makes no rational sense.

but there is more. for instance, barfield responded to my pointing out that he studied with vendyl jones:

d. The research about the history of the Copper Scroll is my own. Although Vendyl Jones does agree with me on many points, the determinations are mine and not influenced by Vendyl in any way. It is my studies into the Dead Sea Scrolls and my Biblical research that shaped my conclusions to form the Copper Scroll report.

e. With all respect to Vendyl. He is not, nor has he ever been, a member of the Copper Scroll Project or the team.

or this one in response to my questioning why the copper scroll project went back and overdubbed the name of the archaeologist ‘working with them’ (they occur at 0:28, 1:26, 2:18, 3:50, and again at 5:11):

g. We removed the name of the IAA archeologist from the site to allow him to focus on his job and not have to answer loads of distracting questions.

or this one in response to my pointing out that barfield has never been the leader of an excavation:

h. We on the Copper Scroll Project had no authority over the excavation, nor did we pay the IAA one single shekel for what was done at the sites.

now, the copper scroll project has released an entire video that appears to have been shot before in response to scholars’ calls for evidence. (i shall address this in another post.)

but make no mistake: jimmy barfield and the copper scroll project folks are listening.

the problem is, the iaa is listening too. as i have said in earlier posts, the iaa has completely disowned jimmy barfield and the copper scroll project. of course, they had a meeting with yizhak magen and yuval peleg, and barfield and company were sure to take lots of pictures of them keenly looking at barfield’s ‘research.’ as a result, barfield and his team were allowed to watch magen and peleg’s ongoing ten-year excavation, but at no time did they lead the excavation. likewise, magen and peleg completely disagree with barfield’s interpretation, and said as much in this week’s jerusalem post:

“We have dug all over Qumran,” Magen said. “This stuff isn’t there.”

magen went even further:

Yet Magen, one of the leading archeologists on the project, has confirmed to Metro that the digging has ceased.

“We did tests and we didn’t find anything,” Magen said. “There is nothing there.”

When asked why the permit for the excavation remained active, Magen clarified that while the dig was technically ongoing, Barfield’s “theory did not hold up.”

“For 30 years, each person has come with their own theory,” he added. “And they amount to nothing.”

however, something in the article struck me as odd. according to shelly neese:

Peleg, with Magen’s consent, agreed to be the archeologist for the excavation.

the wording in the sentence appears vague, and perhaps intentionally so. the article nowhere says that the iaa endorsed or sponsored the dig. perhaps this is because the west bank, where qumran is located, falls under magen and peleg’s authority as the representatives of the civil administration of judea and samaria. or, it could be that magen gave peleg permission to let barfield and company tag along. neese’s article makes it appear that peleg was working for barfield and his dig. barfield has already stated that the iaa was not paid ‘one single shekel’ (august 2009 update). however, observers usually have to pay somebody to tag along, and barfield has already stated on the copper scroll project fund raising page that:

The CSP has set up a 501(c)3 just for this purpose and has established four separate budgets ranging from the bare bones of $18,185 up to $148,000. Depending on the amount that can be raised will determine how many volunteers and how much equipment will be available for the excavation. The IAA will require trained staff to do the excavation along with Yuval Peleg, the archeologist who will be managing the dig.

in fact, barfield specifically said he was raising money to pay for the following:

Depending on what is raised will determine which budget they will go with. Understand this. If the cave opening is where Jim thinks it is…all it will take is four men, a couple of shovels and a lot of work to reveal the opening for a magnificent find. It is the cost of food, shelter, the IAA staff and transportation that makes the cost soar.

somebody got paid for something!! your supporters gave you a lot of money to pay for something, but you are stating that the iaa got nothing.

where did all the money go? did you give it to the iaa? did you pay your archaeologist? or did you pocket the money?

which is it?

new 4th century fragment of the book of hebrews announced

a new biblical manuscript has been announced on the textual criticism of the bible group: introducing p126.

I am pleased to announce to you that we have a new New Testament papyrus.

I noted it in the last volume of the PSI a NT. It contents He 13,12-13.19-20, and it has still not been remarked by the NT field.

the text is a fragment of hebrews 13:12-13, 19-20 and is dated to the fourth century.

hebrews 13:12-13, 19-20 reads (nrsv):

Heb. 13:12: Therefore Jesus also suffered outside the city gate in order to sanctify the people by his own blood.
Heb. 13:13:  Let us then go to him outside the camp and bear the abuse he endured.
Heb. 13:19:  I urge you all the more to do this, so that I may be restored to you very soon.
Heb. 13:20:  Now may the God of peace, who brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant,

editio princeps: “G. Vitelli,” Papiri Greci e Latini, vol. 15 (Firenze: Le Monnier/Istituto papirologico, 2008) , 171-172.

(with thanx to the etc blog and to jim west for the tip.)

how *not* to pad your ratings: the copper scroll project facebook marketing scheme

The Copper Scroll Project Facebook Page. Note the red arrows pointing to a picture of the Ark of the Covenant and to a paragraph encouraging supporters to navigate to the linked Jerusalem Post article and provide positive comments on it.

just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse…

i have reported several times on the copper scroll project, a group led by retired arson investigator jimmy barfield, who claims to have ‘cracked’ the ‘code’ of the copper scroll. recently, fellow christian zionist and copper scroll project supporter, shelly neese, wrote a fluff piece for the jerusalem post, lauding the amateur ‘ark-eologist’s’ expedition:

[Barfield] then boarded a plane, and delivered his report directly into the hands of the Israel Antiquities Authority (IAA) in Jerusalem. Given his lack of archeological background, his Christian faith, and the fact that the IAA confronts treasure hunters every day, I asked if they treated him skeptically. “Once they saw my report,” [Barfield] replied laughingly, “they just moved me to the head of the class.”

the jerusalem post article was interestingly followed immediately by a number of short praises from a number of people. it was eerily reminiscent of the raphael golb’s internet smear campaign, in which golb used multiple aliases to praise claims made by himself and his father, university of chicago professor norman golb, using different aliases, and to criticize claims made by others on news items with which he disagreed. of course, there is no reason to believe that those leaving comments on the jerusalem post article are aliases. however, they do appear to be the work of a group of several individuals with similar ideological and theological beliefs as jim barfield.

some of the comments read:

1. This will make the Arabs take notice
When the contents of the Copper Scroll are located it will so infuriate the Muslims. They will make up some lie to explain it. Then they will probably start a war over it! Good hunting! Yom Teruah would be a good time to find it! Blessings on Jim, his Team, and the Antiquities officials involved!
Clint B – USA (08/21/2009 23:20)

2. Copper Scroll Project
What an amazing moment it will be when the first sunlight in thousands of years reflect off of the wings of golden angels. I only wish that I could witness the sight!! What a blessed day it will be for Israel and all of the world. All of heaven will burst in song and the stars will dance to the beat, for the mystery will be revealed and there will be no more question about the truth concerning the existence of Solomon’s Temple and the proof that Israel is indeed the Jewish homeland.
Karen Chatham – USA (08/22/2009 05:47)

11. It’s all in HaShem’s timing
Mr. Barfield has truly been used of HaShem to crack the code of the copper scroll. The treasures will be unearthed in HaShem’s timing. This is an incredible story and more Israelis need to learn about this. Thanks for covering this.
Ellie – (08/23/2009 05:49)

14. Copper Scroll Project
What an exciting time we live in as we watch one of the most incredible finds ever is at hand! May YAH bless and keep all those he has chosen for such a time as this!
Mike Winger – USA (08/23/2009 08:42)

15. Copper Scroll Project
I really think Jim has insight on the copper scroll interpretation. I have been keeping him in prayer for wisdom and guidance. My prayer is that whatever he decides, on going public with any information, he only does it after he has himself heard from the Father on exactly what to do, so that he can confidentally say that he knows that he knows that what he is doing is directly from the Father. This is a matter of such importance, that one cant afford to say “I think I am doing the right thing.” Gods work done Gods way will always succeed in perfect timing. I really appreciate his work.
Randy Hahn – USA (08/23/2009 09:37)

16. Ciopper Scroll Project
We support the Copper Scroll Project and the work Jim Barfield is doing in Israel. Only God can ultimately locate the articles Jim is searching for and we are trusting HIM to use Jim Barfield to do exactly that. His humility and love for the Lord are paramount to the work that is being accomplished.Wish we were with him, if nothing more than to enjoy the experience.
Kathy Curtis – USA (08/23/2009 14:42)

18. Copper Scroll
God has a time for everything. These things will be accomplished if and when He has willed it, through the work of people like Jim Barfield. I can’t help but be anxious to see it. Thanks for this article.
Paul Laymon – US (08/23/2009 16:10)

22. Copper Scroll Project
I believe this project is very important to Jerusalem and of course all of Christianity. I am very proud of the work and commitment my son Chris, has involved himself with. This is a very important project. Thanks, also to the guidance of Jim. God’s speed to all! Zara Zerby USA
Zara Zerby – USA (08/23/2009 19:04)

23. Cracking the Code.
What a wonderful story. Please keep us informed about his progress. Good luck and may G-d be with those who are involved in this search.
mimi – USA (08/23/2009 19:

32. What wonderful people these guys are. I am touched by their love of God, Torah and the children of Israel.
God bless and prosper their hands.
Jacob – USA (08/24/2009 09:26)

46. Keep up the good work!
Those who are led by the Spirit of G-d are sons of G-d. Keep on being led Jim! I am looking foreward to all that G-d has planned for you and this project. You are an awesome person, and one of the nicest people I have ever met. Keep up the good work.
Leah Parker – USA (08/26/2009 09:04)

54. What? No alphabet soup after Barfield’s name? Then how…?
HaShem’s ways our not our ways. Man has his own set of rules to judge credibility or dole out their OK on some insight from The Holy One. But it was David who killed Goliath, not the men of skill in war, and not with armor and sword that they tried to weigh him down with. Granted we live amongst dens of thieves, but we think HaShem has shown Barfield something, and if egos can be set aside, common sense says to give this a chance.

and my personal favorite:

38. Question for all you skeptics
The Israel Antiquities Authority approved this! Don’t you think he had EXTRAORDINARY evidence? Enough evidence to overcome his unlikely background? I don’t think the IAA is in the business of approving Archeological digs based on just a hunch from a southern-red-neck ex-fireman!
Clint B – USA (08/24/2009 17:57)

i assumed that barfield had somehow made his followers aware of the jpost article. my hunch was proved to be correct when i visited the copper scroll project facebook page. because one must have a facebook account to see most pages on facebook, and because google doesn’t pick up pages that are not made public in its searches, many cannot see the copper scroll project facebook page. however, because i’ve been on facebook since 2005, i revisited the copper scroll project’s facebook page. there i found two befuddling items (see image above):

1. it appears that they are after the ark of the covenant after all (top red arrow)!
2. amazingly, it appears that jimmy barfield publicly urged his followers to go to the jerusalem post page and pad the ratings by adding positive feedback (bottom red arrow). he stated:

One last request….could you all go to the end of the article at the link below and please rate it…..the higher we get on the ratings the better the chance will be that they do the next article. Shelley Neese has another article just waiting in the JPost office if we can get enough of you guys to help out…so…if you would please give it a high rating…we need support from Israel. Thank you, Jim

so, jim barfield instructed his followers to go to the jerusalem post article and praise it. this certainly explains why so many of the comments stated that they were praying for mr. barfield and included the spelling the word ‘god’ as ‘g-d’ (a practice that many torah-observant christians and jews practice). i confirmed this by cross-referencing the names of those making the jpost comments with the names of people on facebook that have become ‘fans’ the copper scroll project facebook page. some of the names on the facebook ‘fans’ list made comments on the jpost article, confirming the theory.

barfield put them up to it!!

so here’s a note to anyone wanting to promote their own sensationalist (and false) theories:

1. don’t make claims you can’t back up.
2. don’t ask your church friends to give you money for trips to israel.
3. don’t pretend to be leading an archaeological excavation when you’re not.
4. and for the love of all that is good and digital, don’t, under any circumstance, go to a public-facing website and openly encourage your followers to pad the numbers!

new article by dr. robert cargill: pseudo-science and sensationalist archaeology: an exposé of jimmy barfield and the copper scroll project

Dr. Robert R. Cargill appearing on Discovery.

the bible and interpretation website has published my latest article entitled, “pseudo-science and sensationalist archaeology: an exposé of jimmy barfield and the copper scroll project.” it is a call to arms for biblical scholars and archaeolosgists to address publically the sensationalist claims made by amateur archaeologists and pseudo-scientists.

Members of the academy must take individual responsibility and make conscious efforts to rebut examples of obvious disinformation whenever and wherever they arise. Likewise, archaeologists must band together and coordinate their efforts to meet these misleading claims as strongly and consistently as possible. For in a world where Wikipedia allows anyone to say just about anything, scholars must move beyond their comfortable arenas of peer-review and professional conferences, where they talk only to one another, and redouble our efforts to reach out to the public directly. We must counter irresponsible claims with measured responses, debunk and discredit them, and offer alternative theories from a spectrum of reliable scholars who, while they may at times disagree, can support their various claims with scientific facts, tangible data, and sound reason.

and in case you were wondering if this is about money (perhaps a mere finder’s fee and some texas funding) the attention (news articles and tv spots), and religious ideology (the ark of the covenant? really?), just watch:

on the resumption of peace talks between israel and palestine: it’s time

regarding the rumor that president obama is close to brokering a deal to renew peace talks between israel and palestine, i have little to say beyond: let us hope beyond hope.

inshallah!

transcript of tamar yonah’s interview of copper scroll project director jim barfield

Jim Barfield, leader of the 'Copper Scroll Project,' testing a metal detector in preparation for his search for the treasures of the Copper Scroll.

the following is a transcript of this week’s (august 23, 2009) ‘weekend edition‘ on arutz sheva’s israel national radio. host tamar yonah interviews copper scroll project director jim barfield. you can download an mp4 version of the interview to listen along while you read the transcript here.

i shall comment further on this matter tomorrow. for now, here’s what jim barfield told tamar yonah.

=== BEGIN TRANSCRIPT ===

0:05 [Tamar Yonah]: Well can you imagine what would happen if in this secular new world order-type world that we live in, a world where we’re supposed to be so enlightened and religion is old hat and old fashioned and primitive, what would happen if, just if, the Bible was proven to be true? What would happen if the Ark of the Covenant and treasures from the First and Second temple were discovered? Well, we have with us joining us now, Jim Barfield, and Jim is the Director of the Copper Scroll Project. And you can go to his website while we’re doing this interview and check it out, it’s called, it’s at www dot copper hyphen scroll hyphen project dot com. Copper Scroll Project with a hyphen in between each word. Copper Scroll Pa-, Project dot com. And you can go there and look at some of the, um, things that he’s done so far in trying to do an archaeological dig, to try to find th-, the treasures that the Copper Scroll of the Dead Sea Scrolls is telling everybody maybe where these treasures are. Here to tell us more about that we have again joining us Jim Barfield. Hi there, Jim.

ucla’s kara cooney to star in discovery’s new archaeology show, “out of egypt”

Kara Cooney, star of Discovery's "Out of Egypt"

updating a previous item on this site, ucla’s kara cooney will star in the upcoming discovery show, out of egypt. the la times says:

Using Egypt as a starting point, Cooney embarks on a journey to find links between the social, cultural and religious practices of several ancient civilizations. She discovers that despite being completely disassociated from one another, the societies had striking similarities in behaviors, traditions and beliefs.

you cannot miss this show!!

check out dr. cooney on craig ferguson just this past week:

what kind of facebooker are you? or, how (and how not) to facebook

The Facebook page of Dr. Robert R. Cargill

what kind of facebooker are you? how do you use facebook? what kind of facebooker annoys you the most? these are the questions addressed by a new cnn article by brandon griggs entitled, ‘the 12 most annoying types of facebookers.’

i’ve been on facebook since early in 2005, when a couple of my pepperdine students, amy rogg and austin maness, turned me on to the social networking service. from the very beginning, i used facebook to reach out to students and to learn their names and faces. as an instructional tool, i felt it allowed me to reach students where they are and on their terms. i would create a facebook group for each course i taught, and would ask them to join it. i left hints about when a pop quiz ‘might’ take place or what ‘might’ be on the exam as an incentive to join the group. they found that they could ask me questions about the course materials and message one another. some used the facebook group to organize study groups. at the end of the first week, i knew all of their names, and they all knew each other. of course, at times, i learned a bit too much about them (like how hung over they were or who made out with whom), but it was a way to get the class to engage a required course they might otherwise not enjoy.

according to griggs, the types of facebookers are as follows:

1. the let-me-tell-you-every-detail-of-my-day bore
2. the self-promoter
3. the friend-padder
4. the town crier
5. the tmi-er
6. the bad grammarian
7. the sympathy-baiter
8. the lurker
9. the crank
10. the paparazzo
11. the maddening obscurist
12. the chronic inviter

Dr. Robert Cargill's office workstation at UCLA's Center for Digital Humanities

i’d like to offer a bit of commentary on each of the 12 types of facebookers:

what i am:

#2 – ‘the self-promoter’ – as one who uses my blog to write more developed thoughts on the issues of the day, and who then cross-links my blog with twitterfeed to update my twitter, which in turn is linked to update my facebook automatically, all of which is meta tagged to maximize google alerts and placement in search rankings, i must concede that i am a ‘self-promoter.’ (the fact that my facebook feeds this very article is evidence of this designation.)

#3 – ‘the friend-padder’ – as an early adopter who encouraged students from pepperdine, azusa pacific, portland state, and ucla to join the facebook groups i created for each of my classes, and as one who uses facebook as an alumni tool for friends from madera and bullard high school, fresno city college, fresno state, pepperdine, and ucla, i somehow have amassed well over 1000 facebook friends. with the addition of my asor, sbl, and professional colleagues that use facebook, coupled with the folks that add me because they saw me on history or discovery channel, i fit the definition of a ‘friend-padder.’

#4 – ‘the town crier’ – as one who posts just about every story i find interesting or funny on fb, i am definitely a version of a ‘town crier.’ i like to give my friends something fun or interesting to read or watch on my page, and i love the random banter and feedback each of the stories generate. but i don’t report everything, especially celebrity gossip. (i leave that to tmz, perez, and philip defranco.) i report on politics, religion, and absurdities. pick something you know about and become the go-to place for info on those topics.

#11 – ‘the maddening obscurist’ – i admit it: i do this. that is because i find communication to an individual through communication to the general public a fascinating literary phenomenon. it’s like a double entendre (of which i am also a fan), but without the sex (of which i… never mind). if done properly, maddening obscurity is literally saying two things at once. i prefer to call it ‘intentional ambiguity.’ disney does it all the time; they write jokes that kids get on one level, but that mean something entirely different to the parents watching at the same time. just about every status update i leave has two intended audiences and two intended interpretations, because why waste words? (especially in a twitter environment where one only gets 140 characters!) say two things at once! tell the public one thing while you tell that certain someone exactly how you feel (because you know she’s watching ;-). but avoid the obvious; don’t post something like, ‘a certain someone needs to back off,’ because that’s transparent and petty. instead, post a status that reads more like, ‘time to make like a shepherd and get the flock out of here.’ is it about me, or about him? answer: it’s intentionally ambiguous, preserving plausible deniability (but trust me, he knows).

what i am not:

#1 – ‘the let-me-tell-you-every-detail-of-my-day bore’ – this is essentially twitter, and twitter is facebook without the functionality. to be quite honest, i don’t really care what you’re doing at this very moment unless it is clever, hilarious, or monumental. i don’t care that you’re sitting in your office. i don’t care what you had for lunch. i don’t care that you’re ‘working on my latest book.’ (finishing it would impress me more.) i want something that makes me think, makes me laugh, or compels me to comment. make me respond, ‘well played,’ or, ‘touché.’ in turn, i’ll spare you the lesser details of my life.

#5 – ‘the tmi-er’ – on the heels of #1, i don’t want graphic details of your emotional state or what came out in your turds (unless it is monumental, in which case, see my comments on #1). just as i don’t want you to bore me with mindless blather, neither do i want to hear the excruciating details of your day. i can’t even make it through those sappy inspirational emails that get sent around as spam. (sorry mom!) tmi-ers are essentially spammers on facebook, and they should go the way of all flesh immediately.

#6 – ‘the bad grammarian’ – i am not a poor grammarian, as i prefer to portray a sense of intentionally exaggerated erudition when i write. however, i usually forgive spelling mistakes in rapid-fire exchanges, comments on facebook, or obvious spelling errors. what i do reserve the right to tease about are the misuses of idioms, grammar, and errors with homonyms, all of which betray a sense of ignorance and a lack of education that does not convey a sense of credibility when arguing a position on facebook. nothing is more embarrassing than arguing to me how government-run health care is a ‘nazzi’ initiative. check your spelling before you hit ‘share.’ it is better to spell properly and have people think you’re an idiot than to misspell and remove all doubt.

what i hate:

#7 – ‘the sympathy baiter’ – no, no, no! just stop it! i do not come to facebook to be a counselor and i am not a mercy magnet. i certainly do not want my facebook experience to become a chore. this should be a fun place, so please do not play the ‘woe-is-me’ card. if you do, be prepared for silence. if you want to reach out for real sympathy, do so with a private message.

#8 – ‘the lurker’ – voyeurs, peeping toms, and unwanted stalkers are the reason god created friends lists and privacy restrictions (well, mark zuckerberg at least). granted, there will always be folks looking at your page that you don’t necessarily want looking (especially when you don’t want to hurt their feelings by un-friending or blocking them). but, facebook will never offer stats on who’s watching whom, because that would creep everyone out and everyone would stop using facebook. (if sally knew that tommy was checking out all 700 of her photos, either sally would be creeped or tommy would be embarrassed, and either one or both would leave. facebook doesn’t want that, so don’t expect stats like you have on your blog ever!) don’t be creepy and don’t obsess. there are plenty of other boys and girls just as narcissistic self-obsessed as the one you’re stalking for you to visit hourly.

#8a – ‘the inappropriate poster’ – here is a bonus category not found on the cnn article. beyond the lurkers are the ‘inappropriate posters,’ who write posts on your wall that you find yourself deleting immediately afterward. some people are just vulgar or rude. but other ‘inappropriate posters’ do far worse in a seemingly innocent way. ‘inappropriate posters’ are the reason you use facebook mobile: so you can delete the post from that girl you hooked up with that one night before that other girl you’re interested in reads it. in fact, ‘inappropriate posters’ are the reason you can now turn off your facebook wall.

#9 – ‘the crank’ – i don’t like being around cranky people in real life. why would i want to be anywhere near them online? unless you are being hyperbolic, or using crankiness to make a ranting point (which had better be clever or hilarious like lewis black), don’t be cranky. like desperation, people can smell crankiness a mile away, and folks tend to avoid it.

#10 – ‘the paprazzo’ – this is a fundamental no-no. one must *think* before one posts a photo (especially if one tags it, making it visible on the tagged person’s wall). never post illegal activity. never post pix of you kissing anybody(!) unless you are married and never getting divorced. for one, next week when she dumps you, all of the girls who may have been potentially interested in you will have that kiss image in their minds and will despise you. likewise, don’t rub it in. so your boyfriend is hott. ladies, nothing makes other girls hate you more than when you paper your walls with pictures of you kissing biff hunko. save the dda (digital displays of affection) for another day. besides, if you two could *really* make a hott and sexy photo, it should be too hott for facebook, right? there is nothing more provocative than an album full of photos where two cute folks that are just smiling and looking at the camera as if to say, ‘these are the only pictures we can put online ;-). you go ahead and post your little online kissy-face pictures. our relationship is so hott, it’s ‘offline hott.’ so all you get to see are these teasers of us smirking in front of the beach where we later… [brown chicken brown cow].’

#10a – ‘the picture commenter’ – this is another bonus category. please, for the love of all that is holy and digital, don’t comment on the lovey-dovey photos of folks that aren’t you unless you are saying something to the effect of ‘omg u2 r sooo cute!!’ commenting anything other than something positive on another’s photo of affection is nothing more than pissing on a wall to mark your territory. don’t do it – you look pathetic and desperate, and reveal to others how pathetic and desperate you really are. if you really want to make a point, post a picture of you kissing his boyfriend. don’t comment on their picture unless you have something nice to say.

#12 – ‘the chronic inviter’ – this particular facebooker is so annoying, i have a disclaimer on my facebook page that says i never add group invitations, new apps, or events, just so i can point to it when they write me to complain and ask why i didn’t join. i will add just about anyone (even if they do go straight into my limited  ‘acquaintances’ list that can only read my notes, my wall, and see a few pix of me doing benign things), but just because i don’t join your ‘dog rescue’ advocacy group doesn’t mean that i eat puppies for dinner. i don’t add things that take up space on my already overly-full profile. invite people as friends. if they don’t add you, wait a few months. if they reject you again, stop pestering them. if you use facebook to sell things, raise money from strangers, or ask people to join some group because you believe if 100,000 people join, some nun in india will give free computers to children with no electricity, you are delusional and warrant an immediate, naturally-selective extinction.

be smart:

remember, be a smart facebooker. be clever. be entertaining. i appreciate good humor, sincere praise, a well-argued point (even if i disagree), along with both hyperbole and satire (like stephen colbert‘s ‘the word’ or jim west). i’m not a fan of cynicism. (most cynical people don’t realize it’s a literary genre, they’re just nagging.) i do not like partisanship, intolerant hate speech, or anonymous critics; they are a bunch of cowards who sometimes end up under arrest. show me something i haven’t seen before like artsy pong you can play with your cell phone, or the most recent offering from fail blog, or anything by marina orlova (that’s right, the ‘hot for words‘ girl), or something really rare, like something culturally profound out of fresno. (it’s my hometown, so i can tease.) learn to be a good facebooker and you’ll enjoy the experience more than ever before. and who knows, if you’re clever and funny enough, maybe she’ll finally agree to go out with you.

robert cargill

u.s. news & world report 2010 college rankings released

U.S. News & World Report

u.s. news & world report has issued its college rankings for best colleges 2010. harvard caught princeton for the #1 ranking. the top 10 are as follows:

1. harvard
1. princeton
3. yale
4. cal tech
4. mit
4. stanford (another california school in the top 10)
4. penn
8. colombia
8. chicago
10. duke

other notables (read: universities i like, attended, or choose to highlight) include:

11. dartmouth (beautiful, and winner of the new category in commitment to undergraduate teaching)
21. uc berkeley
24. ucla (which again beat #26 usc, and was ranked the #2 public university in the country ;-)
26. usc
35. uc san diego
42. uc davis
42. uc santa barbara (tie)
46. uc irvine

58. pepperdine (which when i attended there had climbed into the top 50, sank to 58)

this means 9 california universities (cal tech, stanford, cal berkeley, ucla, usc, uc san diego, uc davis, uc santa barbara, and uc irvine) ranked in the top 50.

of course, many colleges that did not rank as high as they would like are already complaining about the formula used to compute the rankings. an associated press article reports that:

The ranking formula takes account of factors such as SAT scores, peer reputation, selectivity and alumni giving.

critics argue that too much emphasis is placed on library size, alumni giving, and university presidential voting, which can skew the objectivity of the vote (because each university president ranks his or her college higher than it should be), but because everyone most likely inflates their school’s status, it all evens out. other systems of college ranking place more of an emphasis on teaching, student debt upon completion, employability, and affordability.

then again, the schools in the top tier are largely recognized as being the best in the country. likewise, u.s. news and world report remains the standard for college rankings.

fool me twice?? windows 7 arrives next month

Windows 7

fool me once, shame on windows vista. fool me twice, i’ll never use your software again.

microsoft is shipping windows 7 on october 22, 2009, and this time it had better work. windows 7 is essentially what vista was supposed to be: the next great thing after windows xp. but vista was death incarnate was digital cancer had so many problems, that loyal windows users clung for dear life to xp, and it prompted the unthinkable to happen: someone else (google) to jump into the operating system competition (with google chrome).

the situation is a bit more dire than most people realize. the door is already wide open for google not only to continue domination in the search market (bing+yahoo still loses to google badly), but to take over in the operating system market as well. with apple’s resurgence as the greatest operating system and computer on earth and google on the way to the top, microsoft absolutely must deliver with windows 7.

microsoft managed to survive the vista debacle because they can hemorrhage cash for years and still not need to visit the emergency room. but if they fail again, microsoft will have so violated the public’s trust in their brand that they may not recover. with their stock price still worth less that it was one two five years ago, and with essential ownership of a partnership with flailing yahoo, it is essential that windows 7 be a success. otherwise, the inevitable will happen long before it should: google will rise to the top and displace microsoft as the world’s leading operating system.

i’ll be loading windows 7 onto my dell xps virtual reality machine. but fool me twice, shame on micosoft (and pity those who still own msft shares if windows 7 fails).